Sermons

“No uterus, no opinion!” Fans of the TV show Friends will remember these as Rachel's words. This moment happened in season 8 after three men offered casual commentary about her experience of pregnancy.
The line was clearly written for laughs, but it highlights a legitimate concern. Men have often been willfully ignorant about women’s health. Women who have shared their experiences were sometimes disbelieved and called hysterical by male doctors. With history like this, it makes sense that women would cringe when a man starts offering his opinion about something as personal as pregnancy.
Today is Sanctity of Life Sunday. This is the week every year when churches across our nation proclaim the value of unborn life and grieve the reality of abortion. Some people would say that a man has no business talking about abortion, after all, I will never experience pregnancy. If you are skeptical about this sermon, I get it. But I think if you give me chance, I think you might be surprised by what I have to say.
Abortion should matter to men. On the most basic level, men should care about abortion because men are responsible for every pregnancy, whether unplanned or unplanned. Without men there would be no abortions, because there would be no pregnancy.
With their choices, men can either support a culture where life is honored or support a culture where life is seen as disposable. And I believe that when men embrace their God-given responsibilities, they can be powerful allies for women and babies.
As we think about men and abortion this morning, we are going to look at The Dark Reality of Men and Abortion, then we will talk about The Difference That Jesus Makes, and finally we will think about; What Men Can Do to Support a Life-Affirming Culture. So, let’s begin by talking about;
The Dark Reality of Men and Abortion
The ancient world was not a safe place for women. Since women lacked the physical strength and social status of men, they were often treated as objects, used, and then discarded when they were no longer wanted. In Rome, and in most societies throughout history powerful men got what they wanted, and women and children paid a horrible price.
Author Louise Perry describes how the dishonoring of women’s bodies connected with the discarding of babies; “Roman men enjoyed unrestricted sexual access to the bodies of their social inferiors, including children, and murdered infants were understood as an acceptable consequence of the need for frequent male sexual release.”
“Murdered infants” is not an exaggeration. Archeologists have discovered many infant skeletons buried at brothels. If a baby kept a man from using a woman’s body, the baby would be disposed of.
Infanticide was a widespread practice in many different cultures. Sometimes babies were drowned, and other times they were left out to die of exposure. We have a note from a man to his pregnant wife in 1 BC, where he casually wrote; 'I am still in Alexandria... if… you give birth, 'if it is a boy, let it live; if it is a girl, expose it.” The fate of women and their babies was tied together. Their bodies could be used or discarded at a man’s whim.
Christians believe that human life should be honored and protected from conception until natural death. Not everyone believes this. You may not believe it. But what we can’t deny is that today, abortion often serves the same function that infanticide served in the ancient world. It helps men preserve their sexual access to women’s bodies.
Abortion is often described an empowering choice for women, but in many cases, abortion allows men to maintain their power over women. Older boyfriends often pay for the abortions of the underage girls they are abusing. Pimps often pay for abortions, so the women they are exploiting can keep making them money. And tragically, abortion providers have often failed to report suspected cases of abuse.
Many people think that Christian men oppose abortion because they want to control women’s bodies, but the opposite is true. Men who want to control women’s bodies tend to support abortion because abortion helps them maintain their sexual access. Babies are an inconvenience for men who want to use women. It was true back then, and it’s true today.
Hugh Hefner, the founder of Playboy Magazine, was a strong advocate for abortion. Playboy was started twenty years before Roe v. Wade and it often ran articles supporting abortion. Hefner portrayed himself as an advocate for women, but his girlfriends described him as angry and controlling. It shouldn’t surprise us that a man who made a fortune objectifying women was a big fan of abortion. There is also Harvey Weinstein, who was a vocal supporter of “women’s rights” and attended Planned Parenthood fundraisers, before dozens of women came forward to accuse him of sexual harassment. For men like this, supporting abortion is a way of furthering their own interests.
I am not saying that all men who support legal abortion want to harm women. Many men honestly believe they are defending women’s rights. But we need to realize that supporting abortion makes logical sense to men who want to use women for their bodies and avoid the responsibilities of parenthood.
About a year ago, on social media a woman shared text messages that she said she exchanged with a young NBA star. She had sent him a picture of a positive pregnancy test, and the man apparently responded; “Get an abortion, lol.” Then the woman then replied; “Honestly I had an abortion with my son around 2 years ago and I regret it everyday”. The texts reveal that after saying this she was pressured, paid money, and then he demanded that she share a of video of her taking abortion pills. While not directly admitting to sending these messages, the young star later posted a general apology for his “comments made in the heat of a moment.”
None of us would want our worst text messages shared with the world, but this is a tragic example of how some men respond when they discover that they got a woman pregnant. He disregarded the wishes of the mother, he disregarded the humanity of his child, and he used his wealth and status to pressure her into getting an abortion.
Most men don’t have the wealth of a sports star, but men use other ways to pressure women to get abortions. They can threaten to leave or to withhold financial support. Tragically, violence against women often increases when they get pregnant. 
Choice is often used as a euphemism for abortion, but many of the women who get abortions don’t feel like they have a real choice. They are under tremendous economic and social pressure from men. Many pregnant women even fear for their physical safety. This isn’t freedom, this is bondage.
Now this is not all cases of abortion today. Many women freely choose to get abortions, without pressure from men. Many men never even know they caused a pregnancy. Some men who were ready to embrace the responsibilities of parenthood have had that opportunity taken from them. Many men grieve the loss of the child they never had a chance to hold. If that is you, please know that this church grieves with you.
What we know from history is that a culture that put’s men’s sexual desires first will dishonor the bodies of women and discard the bodies of children. But not all men have acted this way. Jesus was born into the Roman world we just described. And he confronted this evil head on. So, let’s talk about the
The Difference That Jesus Makes
In his life and through his ministry Jesus raised the bar for men and their behavior. He called men to be different. In Matthew 19, Jesus prohibits men from discarding their wives through casual divorce and implicitly condemns polygamy. In Matthew 5 Jesus says that even a lustful look is sinful. Not only were men prohibited from touching a woman inappropriately, but they were not even supposed to gaze at a woman sinfully.
In his letters, the Apostle Paul amplifies these teachings of Jesus. He condemns all forms of sexual immorality (Pornea in the Greek), including sex outside of marriage, visiting prostitutes, and men having sex with boys. This restriction of male sexual freedom was astounding to the rest of the population.
Christianity called men to sexual self-control out of respect for God and for other people. Not only was sexual sin offensive to God, but sexual sin was also harmful to other people who were made in God’s image.
When he was asked what the greatest commandment was Jesus replied in Mark 12:30-31; “And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ 31 The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.””
Love for God and neighbor is the cornerstone of Christian ethics. Roman men didn’t see women, babies, children, or slaves as their neighbors. They didn’t believe these people deserved their love. But Jesus taught that all people should be loved and respected.
Jesus was echoing a long tradition from the Old Testament where God’s people were commanded to care for the widow and the orphan. In the ancient world, those who were weak or vulnerable, were often despised, but God called his people to care for those who lacked power and status.
And Jesus didn’t just say these things, he lived them out. He scandalized those around him by showing love to vulnerable people. In John 4 he showed kindness to the Samaritan woman at the well who had a checkered sexual past. In Mark 5 he healed and socially restored a woman who had a bleeding condition. In Luke 7 he brought a grieving widow’s son back to life. And in Matthew 19 after his followers tried to get rid of some kids, he said; “Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.” – Matthew 19:14
Do you remember why Jesus told the parable of the Good Samaritan in Luke 10? He was responding to a man’s question. The text says: “But he, desiring to justify himself, said to Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?” (Luke 10:29) Like this man, we love to look for reasons why particular people are not really our neighbors. We diminish the humanity of people we don’t like. We look for loopholes, so we won’t have to love them like Jesus commands.
This is exactly what so many men have done throughout history. They diminished the humanity of slaves, women and children, so they wouldn’t have to treat them with dignity. These men assumed that because they had physical strength and the social status, they could do whatever they wanted, but Jesus said no.
We hear a lot of talk about bodily autonomy today, but we should ask; where did the idea of bodily autonomy come from? This isn’t some naturally arising concept. Within the animal kingdom, sexual violence is commonplace. As we have already said, throughout history women’s bodies have not been honored by men. The natural human pattern is for men to use their power to get what they want.
But Jesus turned this pattern on its head. He treated women with dignity and respect because he loved them, and he commands his male followers to do the same. Women were not objects to be used for men’s pleasure, they were people made in God’s image, who were worthy of immense respect. And as Christianity began to spread, the treatment of women began to improve.
Louise Perry, again, writes; “…modern secular feminists familiar only with the caricature of Puritanism presented in Margaret Atwood’s The Handmaid’s Tale wholly underestimate the emancipatory effect that Christianity had on women.” The arrival of Jesus was good news for women, and the arrival of Jesus was also good news for babies. Infanticide was finally banned in the year 374 because of the efforts of Christians. The moral revolution that Jesus began lifted both mother and child. But today we struggle to honor them both. Christopher Watkin describes the tension we now experience.
“When [Christians] love the poor and oppressed, they are applauded by the left; when they love the unborn, they are hailed by the right. It is as if the biblical category of widows and orphans has been cleaved apart: the left has compassion for the widows, and the right wants to save the orphans, with the two tragically and needlessly set up against each other. The biblical ethic of love can find rest in neither camp.” - Christopher Watkin
When we see a mother with her unborn child and someone asks, “Who is my neighbor?” the only right answer is; They both are. We won’t love a mother well if we don’t love her baby, and we won’t love a baby well if we don’t love her mother.
Right now, in our culture we are conducting a dangerous experiment. We are trying to keep some of the values of Jesus while rejecting the rest of his teaching. But we do this at our own peril. You can pluck a flower from the field that sustains it, and it may look fine for a day, or even a week in a vase, but soon the petals will fall. What was once beautiful will shrivel when it is removed from the soil that sustained it.
We won’t have a culture that truly respects the bodies of women if we ignore the humanity of the babies they carry. Both are made in the image of God. They both deserve our love, respect, and protection.
This morning, we have seen that men have often dishonored women and babies. But we have also seen that Jesus provides a different way for men to live. So, in conclusion, let’s think about;
What Men Can Do to Support a Life-Affirming Culture
As a man, it’s not always easy to know how to make a difference with abortion. We live in a state with very liberal abortion laws that are unlikely to change, and most of us don’t have regular contact with women in crisis pregnancies. So, what can men do? I offer three suggestions:
Have a Gentle Posture
When facing a social injustice like abortion, it is easy to get angry. This anger is understandable and justified because precious lives are being destroyed. But expressing anger in our activism can sometimes push away those we most want to help.
Many daughters have chosen abortion because they feared their father's anger. Dads, teach your daughters about God's good plan for sex, but they also need to know that nothing they do will ever diminish your love for them. They need to know that if they ever get pregnant you will love and support them and their baby. Dads let them know they don’t need to be afraid.
In preparing for this message, I encountered a study that broke my heart. CareNet surveyed 1000 women who had gotten abortions, and of those women 70 percent identified as Christian, 43 percent were regularly attending church when they got an abortion. But only 7 percent of those women talked with anyone at their church before getting an abortion.
I don’t know why all those women stayed silent, but as a pastor, I want to do everything I can to make sure my sisters here know that this is a safe place – a safe place to talk about your past abortion, and a safe place to share your unexpected pregnancy. If you are pregnant right now, I want you to know that you are loved, you won’t be judged, and we want to help.
Men, the women around you are listening to how you speak about abortion. Don’t speak harshly and ruin your opportunity to show them God’s love. The next thing we can do is;
Accept Responsibility for our Sexual Behavior
For far too long men have depended on women to enforce sexual boundaries, but God holds men responsible for their sexual behavior. Apostle Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 6:18; “Flee from sexual immorality…” The Bible defines sexual sin as any kind of sexual activity that occurs outside of marriage.
In consensual sex, the man and the woman bear equal responsibility for a potential pregnancy. But if pregnancy does occur, the burden falls heavier on the woman than on the man. When a man gets a woman pregnant, he puts her in a vulnerable situation. The normalization of casual sex disproportionally harms women because women are the only ones who can get pregnant.
Brothers, it is not loving to have sex with a woman, and potentially get her pregnant, if you are not married to her. Marriage creates an environment of safety and security that dating doesn’t create. A pregnant woman deserves a husband and a father who is fully committed to supporting her and her baby for life.
Christian values nourish and sustain each other. Godly sexual ethics reinforce the value of unborn life. Less premarital sex equals fewer crisis pregnancies, and fewer abortions. One of the most pro-life things a man can do is to not have sex outside of marriage.
We don't like the fact that a moment of passion can lead to a lifetime of responsibility. The ethics of Christianity are weighty, but they are not arbitrary. The Christian disapproval of premarital sex reflects the powerful reality of sex. God isn’t trying to keep us from having a good time. He puts boundaries in place because he loves us.
Men, we can’t bear the burden of pregnancy, but when we father a child, we should accept all the responsibility of a parenthood. It is scary to become a father unexpectedly, and all sorts of things can go through your mind. But, if a woman is pregnant with your child, the right response to say; “I will do whatever is necessary to care for you and this baby.”
And one more thing on this point, men, the porn industry and the abortion industry are joined at the hip. Both profit from our lack sexual self-control, and both dishonor woman and children. Every click feeds a system that dishonors human life. Don’t feed that system. The final way we can support a life affirming culture is to
Speak Up for Women
It is essential for us as men to show gentleness and compassion to the women around us, but there is also a time for us to use our voices and resources to defend them. God calls us to stand between sinful men and the women they want to harm. There is an amazing example of this in Ruth chapter 2.
In that passage, Boaz a wealthy landowner, shows care for Ruth, a refugee widow. Ruth comes to gather grain in Boaz’s field. This situation was ripe for abuse. Ruth could easily have easily been the victim of sexual violence. But Boaz steps in to protect her. He commands the men in his field not to touch her. He uses his social status to protect a vulnerable woman. We should do the same.
Guys, we all have different areas influence, and God calls us to us to use our influence to defend the women around us. We can say; “in my business, in my office, in my circle of friends, at my lunch table, I will not let women be mistreated by men.”
Some of you men listening today have been blessed with incredible resources. Pray and ask God how you could use those resources to serve and protect the women around you. Perhaps you could pay for housing for an expectant mother or provide work for a young a woman trying to break free from an unsafe relationship.
Now, we can only protect women who are willing to receive our protection. We can’t force women to receive our help. But God made us men for a reason, and he doesn’t want us to sit by and let women be harmed under our watch.
Men may not have a uterus, but we do have a mission. And if we embrace our God given responsibility, we can be powerful allies for women and their babies. Then, with His help, along with our sisters, we can build a culture where all human lives are valued.

Speaker: Enoch Haven

January 19, 2025

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